I had plans, I had huge plans.

Having had a couple of weeks recovery after my triathlon in Korea, this week was going to be the week I would jump back into training before the weather changed and before my Ironman fitness starts to dissipate. I have been turning the ideas over in my mind and gathering momentum to start on my “new and yet to be disclosed “life defining challenge. This challenge would require a long-term commitment to a training regime that would propel me from the back of the back of the pack to the sharp end of competitiveness, and involve recording and publishing detailed accounts of the journey, so could potentially lead to a whole new way of life and career…. This was going to be the big one…

Well that was the plan. However instead of a real-life kick-start for training I got a figurative and totally unexpected kick in the head from work, something so severe that the whole future of my business was put into question. Again….

Unsurprisingly I lost all motivation to even leave the sofa. Work rather than working out has been my focus, with the never-ending crush of responsibility with the accompanied lack of sleep and stress meaning that I have managed nothing more than short late-night runs.

However, the human mind is damn resilient, and yesterday afternoon after finishing my company’s “end of month” tasks, I dragged myself off the couch and out on the bike. It wasn’t a long ride, and was not very focused, but did include two 4-5km climbs and some nice countryside in the warm autumn sun. Amazingly almost as soon as I got out I started to feel more positive, the joy of being out in the open and the physical effort of pushing myself up a hill helping to ease the tension in my mind. The roads were pretty quiet and soon I was enjoying the views and allowing my mind to wander. Actually, I managed to get totally lost in both my thoughts and physically, missing a turn and ending up going in completely the wrong direction. On other occasions I would have got annoyed with myself for wasting time and messing up my route, but instead I really enjoyed the adventure and with the wonderful invention of Google maps easily found my way back.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I enjoyed my ride nothing has changed regarding my company and I am still at a loss of what I should do, but the positivity I got from going out on the bike still enthuses my body and mind today. Whatever I decide to do, life goes on, nobody has died and I am not going to starve. I have my physical health and the freedom to make my own choices, all I must do is ensure I make the right ones. I am still tempted to go ahead with my challenge, maybe I may have to change it or cut it back a little, or maybe I just decide to go even harder and let the other issues of life fit themselves round my training and writing.  But whatever I decide I have to take responsibility for my choices, not find excuses and simply “get the run done”.